As the new year was approaching, I started to reflect on the type of person I am and who I want to be. I realized that in the past couple of months, I lost my focus. I lost my motivation to create, to thrive, to grow. I thought of a few things: Am I the Esraa that I want to share with the world? Am I living my life without fear? Am I focusing on what I love? Who I aspire to be?
I wasn’t.
I was constantly overthinking and undermining. Every feeling I had and every thought that came to mind was constantly being overanalyzed until I was exhausted by my own thoughts. I doubted my ability in everything I did. Am I really capable of this? Is this even what I want to do? I started to second guess myself which lead to losing the best part of me: the part that lets me do whatever I want to do because I want to do it.
In order to do what I love and live without the fear of failure or discomfort, I had to pop the little bubble I was in that I used to protect myself. It took a lot of time to truly understand where this lack of focus came from. It took even more time to try to rebuild myself and be the person I want to be. I had to let go of my fear. Let go of all of my doubt. I had to finally let myself be seen.
By sharing my voice through this blog, I am exploring the part of myself that I was too afraid to show. Now, I am happy with who I have become and I am excited for how much more I will grow. I am becoming the Esraa I want to share with the world. I am the Esraa that is letting go of my fear. The Esraa that is focusing on what matters most to me.
I urge you, too, to reflect on who you are. Reflect on whether or not you are where you want to be in your life. I urge you to pop your bubble, let go of your fear, and find yourself.
esraa writes 